Parents often ask for support around how to help their children manage strong emotions. The self-regulation systems in the brain develop across childhood and are complete by about 23-25 years of age. You can promote this development by regularly connecting with your kids, providing routines and modelling your own self-regulation. It starts with parents as supportive coaches/modellers as the following article discusses….

How to model healthy coping skills

Helping kids learn strategies for handling big emotions

Painful feelings are unavoidable, but how we respond to them is a choice. And showing children how to cope effectively with uncomfortable emotions is one of the most important ways we can support their wellbeing and development.

Healthy coping skills take many forms, including mindfulness, self-compassion, exercise, deep breathing, and positive self-talk. They help us manage our most intense emotions, and they’re also linked to lower levels of impulsivity.

Children pick up behaviour patterns from adults, so one of the best ways to teach your kids good coping skills is to practice them yourself. This can mean taking space after a tense interaction, practicing paced breathing when the train is running late, or having a daily yoga practice. It can be helpful to narrate your behaviour to your kids as you model (“Okay, that phone call made me feel anxious, so I’m going to do some belly breathing and walk around the block to help calm myself down”). Leading by example is also usually more effective than trying to tell kids what to do.

If you struggle with regulating your emotions (like we all do from time to time), you may worry about your ability to model effectively. Start with practicing one or two skills that feel manageable and add on from there. Taking it slow will help you build confidence and internalize the habits you are working on.

Many parents find it hard to prioritize working on their own coping skills. When you’re balancing competing responsibilities, it can feel like there’s just not enough time in the day. You might even feel like setting aside time for your personal development is selfish. But kids pick up on how we treat ourselves, and they are likely to copy our habits, positive or negative. Sometimes, the best way to care for your child is to show up for yourself, too.

You can read the full article here; How to Model Healthy Coping Skills - Child Mind Institute

You can contact the School Counsellor by calling Saints Peter & Paul on Monday & Tuesdays, or via email (shandelle.steere@catholiccare.cg.org.au). Alternatively, if you are considering referring your child to see the school counsellor, you can directly submit a referral via the online submission site: https://catholiccare.force.com/housing/s/school-referral-form.